I'm not a pussy!!

Okay, not totally. This whole muay thai thing is all ready beating me up man! My wrist is acting up so I have learned how to wrap my hands/wrists. Lucky for me everyone does it differently so I have now forgotten how to do it two different ways. I have bruises on my shins, a big raised bruise on one knee, some smaller not so raised one on the other, and I ripped the shit out of my calf muscle so much so that I can barely walk on it in the morning and I gimp around until late afternoon. If I had an office job it would be a little better but as it is I am out walking dogs all around town looking like a cripple. There's a strange satisfaction in it though. You know, nothing gets me down type shit. I might be talking out my ass though. I was watching people train this evening and realizing they actually enjoy the excrutiating pain this gym has to offer. In fact, they want as much as they can get. I have come to the conclusion that we're like salsa. They are the hot salsa and I am the mild (working my way to medium). I only want mild discomfort right now. I'm like this in regards to the rest of my life as well (though you would never guess it watching me make my masochistic life decisions with a smile on my face). Once I get used to kicking the shit out of myself (or having others do it) I'll be far more open to the idea in entirety. Until then I am going to continue to tell them I don't want major pain. They think I am a smart mouth but I just think I am smart. Okay, clearly I am super out of shape. Clearly. I haven't worked out in years. Lots of them. I expected myself to be a little slow on the uptake. I didn't really anticipate my body being so soft and easily bruised. Although I am a delicate flower and we all know what happens when you stomp on delicate flowers don't we? No? Go stomp on one, you'll see. It's not pretty. Maybe now you get the picture. I bet if little delicate flowers trained more often they could whip us around by our feet when we tried something funny. Anyway, just because I am a delicate flower doesn't mean I am a pussy and I remind the instructors of that every time I show weakness. The weakness will go away in time and be replaced with whatever it needs to be replaced with. I'm no expert on this beat each other up shit. I am almost an expert on getting beat up though considering how often my massive never able to shut itself mouth got me pounded on when I was younger. I am happy to announce that while sparring I have not hit the mat and rolled into the fetal position once. Guts at their finest let me tell you.

I finally have a complete plan. Since I have three full months to train and I want to be good at it once I hit the road, and since I am getting my hair chopped on the 30th and since I want to be an early riser once gone, I have come up with an awesome plan. I am going to stick with the muay thai during the evenings until the 30th. Once my hair is cut and needs styling first thing, I will start the 6 a.m. muay thai classes. Then once I am out of work I will go to the 7:30 p.m. grappling classes. I am going to try to do this four to five days a week. If it proves to be a little much I'll go every other day for each or something. Whatever, it's not going to prove anything except that I am an animal!! I might be drastically out of shape but I am a sexy mama to be. I can't wait.

So, the happy family is... happy. I don't know that for a fact but they seem like they are well. The piebald is getting a little bitchy here and there and I go back and forth between wanting to remove him and thinking it's nice that everyone has something to do. The spice finches have been teaching Bob how to preen and so far they are proving to be excellent teachers. I guess it really does take an entire village to raise a child.

The boys are always awesome. We went into the woods today and now that we have spoken to the animal control officer I am a little wary. I guess there are coyotes in there (a biker actually told us he saw one a while back) and it's breeding season so they get all testy and defend their territory or whatever. Little dogs are a meal and big dogs are a threat. I'm probably something they laugh about while cracking the bones of their last kill with their jaw muscles and teeth that are built to rip and tear flesh and muscle. Woah, coyotes and muay thai have something in common. Seriously, mother nature has it out for me and that's why I don't appreciate her sometimes... Anyway, while out there I have my eyes and ears straining to hear anything suspisious. I am totally fucking paranoid and dellusional at this point and I hear things everywhere. If the dogs look in any direction for longer than half a second I am primed and ready to be attacked by a pack of vicious rabid wild dogs that are in the mood for making babies. Of course I have the boys with me and of course I am giving them way to much credit at this point. And of course I carry my pocket knife "just in case" while constantly scanning the ground for anything that can be used as a weapon. Sticks and stones will break their bones is my theory. If anything should befall us, I am ready. I keep having the vision of being totally ready and prepared, back to back with one of the boys (obviously the other one is protecting the small dogs) and then I leap for the attacker and go for the throat with nothing but my bravery and pocket knife...