Liar liar pants on fire...

Let's have a little talk about total bullshit, shall we? It goes something like this: Follow the link up to your right that says "Keep up!". That's where you'll find the new blog that I am going to post on. I might post on this one on occasion just to shake shit up (and use words like shit as I wouldn't want to get out of practice) but for the most part I'll be blogging about my where abouts. All I know is that was a huge load off my chest...

C U Next Tuesday!!

Today was pretty fantastic. It consisted of waking up to freedom and then heading over to my aunts house for a party in my honor. I will no longer be present at parties that are not in my honor. Maybe that's a little severe. I'll just have to convince myself they are all in my honor. Problems become so minute when solved with delusion. Ahh... Anyway, the party was so much fun and in the process I realized just how much I am going to miss my family. They have always played a massive part in my life and parting is such sweet sorrow. Not sorrowful enough to stay though eh? Never mind the fact that any time they want to come visit me, they'll have to find me somehow and I'll have changed my number by then... just kidding, they can visit any time they'd like to.

Yesterday's ride around Boston helped me fully feel the raging hatred that has built inside me all these years. I am way to enthusiastic and delighted for this area. And to think I almost fell for it. Almost! Oh well. Tuesday is looming and as much as I am extremely nervous, the excitement and anticipation is winning no contest. I am so high strung and exciteable that I don't think the nervous ever had a chance to be honest.

I am totally going to keep this blog up. I like making things difficult for myself not to mention the other travel blog will be PG as people like my grandmother will be reading it. I do have some respect for people in this corroded heart of mine.

Binging and purging

At this point I have eaten an excessive amount of ice cream so I am feeling way better than yesterday when I hadn't eaten any at all. Okay, maybe one little brownie Häagen-Dazs bar. But it was early in the day and the trauma ensued later in the evening making that happy little ice cream treat all of nonexistant.

I thought I did an incredible job picking and choosing my things until I had a happy little pile of material goods of which to bring with me on my trip. However. I am inclined to give my trucks FAR to much credit and this time was no different. Also, and I know I have said it before this, I am putting everything I own into one vehicle. This is not as easy as it sounds (am I the only one that thinks this sounds easy?). Especially if you are prone to giving said vehicle way to much credit. It's painful when you have convinced yourself someone else did it in their Saturn. Twice. Ha! Needless to say, I was sure to do this the last night I could stay at my apartment so I had very very little time and very very little stability by the end of it all. In fact, there were moments I was simply feverishly throwing things out without even considering that I might in fact use them again. Like jackets and coats. Good bye. I *sigh* gave my books to Yolanda down at Diskovery. I like Yolanda and I like her used book store. Shit, I bet 3/4 of those books were aquired at that very store. It seemed the right thing to do. Good bye books. I know you'll make someone else as happy as you made me. I then proceeded to cram the truck full of all the things I had pictured fitting in nicely. By the end, I couldn't see out of the rearview and Charlie was in the back riding on his dog bed which was precariously balanced on top of all the things that *should* have fit like a glove. He was essentially riding next to the roof. It was risky but worth it. Jim rode shot gun with the fish and other random articles piled about him. Let's just say he was doing better than the Charles, but Charlie is a good sport and always happy to go for a ride. If my brain was in working order, I clearly would have snapped a picture of this fucking mess. But I was in full fledged freak out until you snap mode and pictures were not the things snapping. I went to say good bye to a friend and then headed out for my first stop which is my mom's. We got to my mom's at about 11:00 where I stuffed the face with green vegetation and white beans and then promptly fell flat on my face on the floor wrapped up in dogs, their bedding, a pillow and a blanket. I am going to be here until the going away party on Sunday and until my traitorous transmission gasket is fixed on Monday. It's leaking. I don't want anything leaky so it seems smart to stay. The awesome thing is that this truck is still under warranty. Go Dodge?

The second purging started this morning after having breakfast with my grandparents. The food and visit not only lifted my spirits but it gave me the energy to keep going in the face of adversity. And the unpacking to pack. It would appear I needed a large front yard and no time limit to effectively pack my truck up. I spread my things all over my mothers front lawn (again, no pictures?? WTF is my problem??) and tried again. More things are going into the attic for safe keeping and the rest has been repacked and cut down to a far more manageable amount. *sniff* smell that? *sniff* That's what success smells like bitches. I might even be able to see out of the rearview. Niceness!! The only thing I have left to get for this trip is a weighted jump rope. I really miss jumping rope. And I was getting so good at it!! So I want the weighted one that will work my arms as well as my legs. I am going to have to jump outside everyday if I can't find the room inside but I can handle this. The super cool part is that I jump rope better with my eyes closed. I'm so not kidding.

Oh right! Since I am not okay with some people reading this blog... I don't think the name goes with travel and all that. I have made a blog for the documentation of my travels. You can find it here. As of right now it is barren and there is nothing to see. That will change. Promise. My camera will become a solid fixture that never leaves my side. You will see everything I think is important enough to record and hear about every mentionable adventure... As of right now, everything is touch and go considering I am stealing my neighbors online service. Not that this has stopped me or ever will.

Beggars can be choosers...

I have all this stuff that I am getting rid of. Tons of clothes, blankets and sheets, a desk, a bookshelf. All in good working order. I thought there would be someone that would like to get these things and give them to someone less fortunate. I guess there is some kind of limit to what they will take. As in they won't come and get three massive bags of clothing, it has to be ten or more. Who in the fuck has ten trash bags of clothing? Seriously! The desk doesn't matter and won't be accepted. I guess poor people don't utilize things like desks. Oh, the games and toys? Yeah, they're never taken. Poor children are not allowed to have fun. It's not often I think about man kind, I have to be honest. It's just about never. Now that I *am* attempting to think about them it's not going anywhere! And that my friends, simply further reinforces that not only should I not help but if I so much as even try, it will be a total pain in the ass. Whatever, I was just hoping I wouldn't have to pack it all up myself. I'll probably just run it on down to Goodwill myself. Bastards. This is the exact thing I was looking to avoid. Oooo... I'm so taking the toys and games to The Little Wanderers! They always take toys and such. They rule. I feel better. These toys are not even opened yet! I don't want to get into the whole I have unopened toys part of this story. Let's just put it this way. They are not comic book figures and I have an aunt that refuses to believe I no longer play with Barbies. All of a sudden the comic figures sound good, don't they?

Well, I'm over it. Back to packing and throwing out.

Wasting time when time is running out

Clearly I should be packing. Clearly I'm not. The good news is that a lot was accomplished today. First I went to my mom's and put everything into the attic that needs to wait until I come back for it. I packed it all into my truck last night and it was not an easy feat. It was not a huge amount of things but some of the items were heavy. Since I am as antisocial as they come I have been doing everything myself. The drawback is the super heavy items. The awesome part is that I got guns baby! I am apparently have super human retard strength because everything is put away nicely and I did it all myself without ripping my arms off my body. There is a true sense of satisfaction here. The only part of the visit that was disturbing was when my mother looked at me and told me it's nice that I am starting to dress in a feminine way. I'm wearing a head band that matches my tank top. Sure, they are both a nice light cantalope color and sure, I don't usually wear things like headbands, but still. I guess I took the not feminine homeless look a little to far.

After getting back from my mom's I made all those piles just trash piles. I also packed all my clothing into suitcases. One of them is red. Since I am going to be doing nothing but dirty disgusting work until Thursday, I am simply going to wear the same outfit until then. I mean, who am I impressing here? All my nonexistent friends and visitors? I might keep rocking the headband considering it's keeping my hair out of my eyes. Hmm. I might also just throw on a bandana and go back to the homeless look I have so obviously perfected.

So all I have left is convincing someone, anyone, to come and get the massive pile of unwanted but totally useable stuff against the wall and throwing out the rest. It should be interesting. I wicked want to throw everything out my window. It would land right next to the trash barrels and make going down the stairs way easier. It would also mean going up and down the stairs only had to be accomplished once. That's efficient if I do say so myself.

Oh yeah, the dogs are also all set. They received all their shots and I have any and all paperwork that could possibly be needed. The visit to the vet was sad as I really like their doctor and don't like the idea of going to anyone else. Maybe I'll just bring the boys here once a year for their annual check up? He is sad to see me go and was sure to remind me to be careful and "remember that world is full of sick fucks". He cares, how nice. I promised him I would be the definition of careful.

Tomorrow I am going to start the day by hanging out on the back porch drinking coffee and then I am going to commence lugging the trash downstairs (or throwing it out the window, after all, everyone will be at work now won't they?). All of this trash will assuredly fill every single barrel to the tippity top. My neighbors will probably be thrilled. I should have had it done the other night but whatever. They can hate me, I'm leaving. Then I am going to go and get a tarp to put over my things for the Salvy as this must happen for them to pick it up. I told them I would make this happen provided they promise to take the tarp as well. This pick up will be scheduled for Tuesday and I'll be out of here by then so it has to happen. I guess this is a strange request that is very hard to deal with since most people make them promise to *not* take the tarp. I am also going to Staples to get myself something I can carry my files in. I don't have a ton of files but I don't want to just whip them on top of my suitcases or anything. Oh good good news!! I figured out a way to easily bring every single pair of shoes with me! Success! I also figured out a way to bring most of my tools and the little things I wanted to bring but wasn't sure I had anything to pack them into. Go me! All I have to do now is figure out how to bring the things I normally hang in the closet. I am leaning towards just squishing them into yet another suitcase and dealing with the wrinkles when it's time. This is possibly a lousy plan but I guess I'll find out what ideas suck as I go along eh? I'm bringing as little as possible but it still seems like quite a large amount. I am reminding myself that I am taking all my worldy possessions and this comforts me since the words "worldy possessions" comes across in my mind as way more shit than I own. Good stuff.

The piles are getting bigger but the blog is staying the same...

Every time I move I am astounded by how much shit I have accumulated! This time is no different but this time there is a slight twist. This time I have to figure out what I want right now and either keep it or throw it out. I was under the assumption this would be cake. Apparently, there is no cake involved. Normally I am a huge fan of cake so this is disappointing. I have so much SHIT. I have devised a system that is helping me root through said shit and make it as easy as possible to get rid of the things that just don't matter. It goes like this: Remove everything from cabinets and closets and pile it on the floor. In fact, now that I have no furniture, this is the easiest part. It resembles a crack house with piles of things on the floor. If it were winter I would so have the oven on to heat the place. Anyway, the piles get smaller and things that are soft and need new owners go into bags and these bags are placed along the wall near the front door. Anything hard is either thrown out (you should see my trash HEAP out front) or if it's salvageable, it is also put along the wall. The wall is getting smaller by the minute. It used to be so big it fit a couch. I am going to call the Salvation Army tomorrow and schedule a pick up for all these things along the wall. My bed is going to be one of those things soon so I am hoping they can pick up on the 31st. That would seriously work for me and my schedule. The only pile that has me stumped is my pile of books. The oh so sacred ones are all ready packed up and going where they need to go. The others are sitting and as much as it pains me to say so, I might send them along to the Salvy... I keep reminding myself that I can get new books. These books have spent a long time in my company however. We're like old friends, you know? Parting is such sweet sorrow. They have kept me company at night when I was lonely or simply couldn't sleep. They have made long trips with me. Hell, they used to get me through the daily commute for a while there. I have taken them for long walks in the woods and we have gone on train rides all throughout the city. I have even introduced them to my friends! They never mind waiting in the car. They never ask me where I have been or when I am going to be back. There is no pressure to spend time with them, but when I do, it's usually worth every second and I always want to go back for more. As much as I love them to little papery bits, they are very heavy. I despise the idea of lugging them about even though I know they would probably enjoy one more car ride. It's not like it's their fault they are so cumbersome, I know this! In the end however, they will just be sitting in an attic patiently waiting for me to come and get them so they can once again be stored on a bookshelf. I have read every last one. Geesh, I have read some of them over and over. What to do, what to do...

Charlie is FREAKING OUT about this whole process. He doesn't like the fact that I continue to remove things from the house and shows his displeasure by being completely underfoot provided I am carrying something heavy. Then when I snap at him he's certain to make a scene by tucking tail and running from me as fast as he can. He has also taken it upon himself to tediously strip the grape vine on the back porch into little tiny pieces using his front teeth. I normally frown upon this type of behavior, but he's doing such a marvelous job I can't punish him. I also think it might be taking his mind off the fact that everything in the house is disappearing. Jim is a rock. He's done this so many times the only thing freaking him out is the fact that we cut the soft couch into tiny pieces and threw it out the window. He loved sleeping on that couch. I loved sleeping on that couch. That couch was fucking awesome. It was also a slamming deal when I bought it. Good bye couch.

I'm also freaking out a little. I have never done this before. I guess in most cases throwing all your things out and cutting off all your hair is a bad sign. This time it is a good sign but I am still a little shaken over the whole thing. But I remind myself that change is awesome and that makes it something I should embrace (fitting into the awesome catagory myself it only seems right, doesn't it?). Also, purging is a good thing when it doesn't involve weight loss and doctors. So I am going to continue throwing shit out and smiling while I do it. Sure, there are going to be the moments where I get super nervous but I'm basically like that every single day, so why should this be any different? Par for the course if you ask me.

It's almost time...

And here it is! The picture we have all been waiting for! Side note: I don't know why she chose this shot as it makes his neck look super long. I just don't think it's very becoming. Hmm. However, this same picture will grace her catalog and I will be receiving a copy so you won't hear me complaining. He has another shoot coming up and we are just going to hope and pray that this woman has better taste as the last... well... didn't. Does any of this even matter?!?! Jimmy is the super model I have always known him to be!



Since I am soon going to end my present dog walking career I choose this time to unload about the ONLY part of the job that irks the shit out of me. This is it. It's the people I come across on my lovely canine filled walks that create little grey clouds. It's usually due to the things they have to say. Now don't get me wrong, I regularly see people that say the nicest of things. There is one elderly man that I see *everywhere* and I have even taken to waving when he drives by me and the pack. His questions are usually along the lines of, how's the crew today? Or who's the new one?? He's upbeat, observant and appears sincere. I also can't help but wonder how he has so many things to do throughout the day... I like him, he keeps it moving and never asks things about the weather or other such draining questions. I am so fucking sick of questions about the weather. We're both standing here, we both know what the weather is like. If for some reason you don't, please leave me alone as you are the type of person I don't enjoy talking to regularly due to the lack of abundance that should fill my brain when having conversation. Seriously!!! Anyway, here they are... the most annoying questions when walking dogs.

The number one question is and will always be: "Are those ALL yours?!" It is always asked in wonder with a sprinkling of horror on top. I used to answer, no, I'm a dog walker. Now I smile like a maniac and brightly reply with a huge enthusiastic "YES!" Because I so obviously own up to six dogs in the city. Enough.

Then there's the opposite which is: "Are you a dog walker?!" Again, I used to say yes. Now I reply with (again with the psychotic smile and over enthusiastic voice), "Nope! All six are mine!!" Unless of course it's clear these people are searching for something and then they are usually looking for a dog walker. Believe me, the difference in approaches are clear as day. One has a searching and get the job done look, the other is vacant and stunned.

Moving on to: "Wow, do they always get along like that?" Sometimes I can tell the people really are confused about it and those are the ones I have the most fun with. I usually tighten my hands around the leashes, give them a face that portrays a little fear and a slew of uncertainty while saying something like "So far, so good today." I find that whispering this to them like it's a secret that must not be released or all hell will break loose helps them hurry away. Other people are plainly saying it to either seem like they know what they are talking about (I don't get these people at all) or to get a rise out of others. They get the response of, "Well, if not, there is always a very capable vet not a stones throw from here isn't there?" Then I usually start looking around for the vet office.

My all time favorite because I hear it about seven billion times per day is: "You sure have your hands full huh?" This one is a tough one since I am full of very sarcastic biting replies and it's the question that makes me the most mental considering the frequency it is thrown at me. Believe me, there are the days I simply duck my head and bark a quick "Yup!" because the end of the rope is so near. Other times I tell them I am going to pick up fifteen more for the dog parade that is being held later so they should stick around for the fun. The come backs to this one are unlimited.

There is also the one that I don't hear as much as the others and it's either "Wow, how do you do that?" with shock and confusion and of course the only answer I like is, "Magic!!". Or there is another rendition where they stop and say, "My goodness! They're all so good! Are they always that good?" and I tell these people it is *I* who is behaving so well as they are the ones walking me, or any other nonsense reply I can think of.

If I am reminded of any others, I'll be sure to let you know. All I know is that people are evidently still here for my amusement. And it doesn't cost a thing. That's a deal I cannot refuse.

I cut off all my hair today!! Okay, fine, my hairdresser cut it all off, but it was ALL my idea. It's so short. As in no hair on my neck short. I have never had a cold neck because of not having enough hair before. I am enjoying shaking my head back and forth (like I am saying no with conviction) because it feels funny. Shaking your head wildly back and forth while walking is not recommended.

PS I totally scored a new red suitcase.

I so thought there was going to be a second shoot on Saturday but, alas, no shoot. So I went onto good old CL to see what was being offered. There is a woman that will take professional pictures of James for her site! YES! She is also willing to come to Brighton. AND her dog has been in commercials! DETAILS! I WANT DETAILS! I'll let you know when this happens and how it goes. I am in the emailing stage right now. With the last photo shoot I took the picture since the red pimp coat was just to large. Why do greyhound people want everything hanging off their dogs? Whatever, who knows, the pictures came out great!! My next step is to continue on getting Jim exposure everywhere I can and then the step after that will be to ferret out a commercial he can be in. I know nothing about this so it might take some time. I am also convinced I can do this on the road. Ha ha. Try and stop us! You can't!! WE ARE COMMERCIAL PRODIGIES!!!

Today consisted of work and then coming home and remembering that L can finally start moving into her place. Did pouring rain stop me? It did not. I laugh at you nature!!! Did rush hour traffic stop me? It did not. Slow me down to an extreme degree maybe, but I would not be disuaded. In fact, nothing is stopping me at this point. Short of having my legs crushed, nothing is going to convince me that I should not make this happen as fast as possible. So it has been decided... Every day after work we are going to pack the truck as full of stuff as we can and make a trip to the new apartment. In fact, I'm thinking on Friday there will be TWO trips since I get out nice and early. By the time the guys are here to move the heavy things, there will only *be* heavy things! HORRAY!! Then I can get down and start throwing all my shit out. Awesome. I truly believe the hardest part of this is going to be figuring out what clothes I no longer need. Interesting but this is always the hardest part for me. I also have to get another suit case as I only have one. I want the new one to be red. Hmm...

Things are looking up. Between the photo shoots, people moving out and me about to burn rubber out of here, things are seriously looking up.

Further confirmation that dead things rule...

I was made aware of this grave stone in Hingham. Considering this is where I run the dogs on Sundays, I went to find said grave as the explanation was compelling. Words didn't really do it justice to be honest. I'm glad I remembered my camera because I snapped a bunch of pictures. I have always been a huge fan of grave yards. I used to live right next door to one and I have to say, dead people are THE BEST neighbors ever! They never called the police because of our ruckus parties, they never chided when we indulged by filling our lungs with illegal toxins, they were accepting of me tanning in teeny outfits and they never made any noise. That is the perfect relationship if you ask me. I also dabbled in chalk rubbings at one point. I enjoyed searching out the older graves as they are always far more interesting. The older the graveyard the more somber you feel. Well, that's how it is for me anyway... I also enjoyed chalk rubbing the graves of children as it makes my heart sink a wee bit and reminds me I am not heartless. I have also always enjoyed running the dogs in graveyards at night. Let's face it... no one else is there and it's quiet. Sometimes it's nice to have quiet like that. When I have happened across other people, they want to stay away from me as much as I do. Are they also thinking "freak" as they walk by? It's strange to me that we take up all this space with dead bodies. It's a strange little celebration we partake in. But the other incredible role graveyards play is protecting large spaces and keeping them from all those developing whores who feel the need to build on every single piece of land that is over 14' wide. So in that case, dead people have purpose as well. I like purpose when regarding dead things and I try to point it out whenever I can. I don't want to be buried as much as I might be able to hold off developers if I did. I want an authentic viking funeral. The whole sha-bang. If this is somehow thwarted, I do hope someone can plant a tree by my grave. Preferably peach. I would then be able to fertilize the tree and that is purpose in it's own way.

So these are the graves. First and formost the angel. What a fantastic grave. Whoever thought of it gets my admiration. Whoever made it is my hero.

Then there was this little guy. Anyone who marks their death with sea creatures is okay by me. Especially if it's cute. I would not be opposed to something ugly though. Anything in the name of originality and creativity.

And of course my heart did a little dip. I like the sheep. Nice touch.


And then I spotted this and couldn't resist because I am still oh so juvenile... I guess after my last email extravaganza, this just makes me look like a biggot. I could argue that fact, but I don't want to appear like I am going on the defensive since that seems to prove guilt, doesn't it? I also don't want to argue it, since I am the one that started the argument and that's weird.



And what blog is complete without massive amounts of James and Charles?

Don't hate Jim because he's beautiful...

YES! TOTAL SUCCESS!! Not that we expected any different, but it was a raging success and lots of fun to boot! After dropping psycho I could ruin Christmas boy off at the house, Jim and I went to the studio and we then proceeded to kick a bunch of ass! Not only did he do everything I asked him to do but he looked marvelous doing it. The coat was a bit large, I guess the woman who makes them likes them that way or something. Whatever, who cares, back to Jim... It was a red crushed velvet coat that he modeling. Pimpin. There were many different shots taken and each time he stood (or sat) there rock solid. A champion in red. At one point we were told that Jim is the best dog in there yet!! Uh, hello? It's Jim? I know? Get real! I would LOVE to meet the dog that could show up the Jim man. Just show it to me. Seriously. I want to see it. Yeah, still waiting. Anyway, this photo shoot took the cake, ate it, regurgitated back into baby bird mouths and all that. It was incredible! I am BEAMING! Of course we did a Jimmy rules and can't be stopped because he's so wonderful dance once outside. Of course we then drove about and bragged to our friends. Part of seeing friends was walking into the Alamo Car Rental place at the airport like we owned it all the while scaring the shit out of everyone that had never seen us before. There's nothing quite like a "dangerous breed" dog leashed to someone smiling like a lunatic. Apparently it sends people into a panic. It even makes others feel like they are in control and today I was asked to do things even though I clearly knew what I was doing. Seeing as it was someone else's place of employment (someone that I really do like for that matter) I obeyed submissively even though the oh so crazy smile was not going away and I could take over the fort if need be. Sometimes you just have to let the little guy feel like he's winning. Also, while being there I met a pretty boy that never came to meet me (shy? who knows) and today he found out what a massive mistake that was. It became even more of a mistake when I harrassed him. His loss.

Jimmy's second shoot is tomorrow. The place where I groom has offered to do some more shots of him outside and add them to their web site. Awesome. This is now TWO pictures for his portfolio. I might start advertising him on CL and see if I can get his photo done while out on the open road. I'm also starting to think commercials might be next. After all, the sky is the limit.

Emailing is so... gay.

Here it is! The finished product to get the gay men that unsettle me out of my cherished woods. I know I sound all frumpy and flabbergasted, but through many emails and much practice, I I have found this approach gets better results. I want to sound like someone helping out fellow man, not a super huge C trying to be right. Well, not when reagrding this anyway...

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I frequently hike the fells. I always park in the Sheepfold parking lot and then go along the trails to have some peace and solitude. I love the trails and I love the fact that I can go there and enjoy the scenery. I think you are doing a marvelous job keeping the place looking it's best. Top shelf. However, there is a part of the scenery that is starting to unnerve me. When I go to the trails to the right of the meadow I have noticed single men lurking about. Lots of them. It's crystal clear what these men are doing. I have come across men in the act of homosexual activities. Now don't get me wrong, I am not anti gay. Quite the contrary. What I am is anti lewd explicit sexual acts done where I could unknowingly stumble upon them. It really takes away from the peace that I am searching for while wandering through nature. It's downright insulting. They loiter about with no purpose, and it's just plain obvious. I come across many people in my travels through the Fells and there is no guessing when it is a gay man looking for a good time.

I know your mission statement is "to protect promote and enhance our common wealth of natural, cultural and recreational resources for the well being of all". I am finding this statement falls short when I happen across people taking part in something that should unquestionably be done behind closed doors. I shudder to think what would happen should a family with children blunder into this obscene behavior that happens so freely and frequently. I also find it fascinating that the owner of dogs are considered such a huge problem when something this filthy is happening in the same place without any type of consequence.

I never see anyone patrolling the right side of the woods but yet I constantly see patrols on the left. Is it possible to have more authority figures on the right side in hopes to break up this offensive sex party that rages on? When these men are parked in the smaller higher parking lot skulking about waiting for their next sex partner, can no one run them off before they find what they are so desperately searching for? Like I said before, it's not like one can't figure out who they are and what they are doing. It's unmistakable.

I hope this is something that can be looked into and righted to a certain degree. Thank you for your time.

Knitting still rules and I seriously have to pack... albeit not like the gay men in the woods.

The knitting project continues. This is something considering most of my ideas get boring after about 15 minutes. I'm basically a ferret on crack. One minute I am doing something and the next... Oooo... shiny!! I had a scarf half way done for my uncle (the man that is married to my aunt who bought me the magical looms) but ran out of yarn and then couldn't find that yarn anywhere ever again. The obvious solution is ordering the yarn off line. However. I hate waiting. I hate waiting and I hate feeling like I am missing out on something wonderful while I wait. So *my* type of solution is to rip the scarf off the loom and throw it in the trash and just send along the hat. No kidding. That's just how I roll. That's right, I'm a board slapper. If I am not winning the game, I don't want to wait to see if I am going to. I would way rather slap the board and never play again. Ever. With knitting though, I want to knit, I enjoy knitting. So out went the scarf and I started on the new. So no, no one has to wait for presents. I mean, are you fucking kidding me?! Waiting for a present is the worst thing you can do to someone. Especially when they know it's coming. And believe me, it is. Now I cannot blog my next project because the person that is not waiting for their present Hi Kerry! reads this blog. So ha! But let me tell you, it's loads of fun. And pretty. And soft. So soft... so beautiful... so nice...

Getting used to driving automatic is not as hard as I thought it would be. It really isn't. Sure, for the first little while I was reaching for the stick shift... and sure, first thing in the morning I would search for the clutch to be able to start the truck. And yes, I totally wonder where my truck is when I come outside in the morning and go into a state of panic. That's better wake up than a cup of coffee, let me tell you. Well, maybe not better but far more effective and waaaaay faster. I can't help but wonder if that's what coffee would be like through an IV?

I am celebrating the summer. I am a summer type of girl. I like heat and sun and heat from the sun. I mosey about with my dogs all day feeling like nothing can stop me. Now that I have caught the hair cutting bug, I can't *wait* to have my next cut. I am always lifting the hair off the back of my neck as to cool off a little and I am under the impression that once Uncle G has cleared the hair from that area, I will be in hairless neck heaven. I hope this bug doesn't ravage me and make me pull a Britney. I especially don't want to if it equals assault with umbrellas and a mental break down. Okay, maybe that was a teeny lie. I could totally assault someone with an umbrella...

I took a nice two hour hike through the woods today with the boys. It was nothing short of awesome in the way of nature and exercise and all that stuff that feeds your soul with goodness. It fell short of awesome when regarding the alarming number of gay men frolicking about together. Now don't get me wrong, I am not anti gay. Far from it. I am anti ass sex when it is done where I might possibly (and unknowingly) stumble apon it. It's unnerving in a big way and slightly takes away from the peace I so normally find when alone in the woods with my dogs. It flips the saying "not a care in the world" to "you never really know" and I find that frustrating. I also find it offensive that us dog lovers are getting no slack in these areas but yet the homo party rages on without mention. I mean, I find dogs a little more natural than gay sex, don't you? In so many words, I will be emailing the right people. I know, I know, I'm leaving... but one needs to have priorites, musn't they? Oooo... speaking of priorities... Charlie cannot seem to shut the fuck up. Especially when off leash. Especially when he must be quiet. Picture a nice quiet suburb neighborhood at 1 a.m. and you get the picture. Loud ruckus barking simply is not acceptable. I'm not exactly one that adheres to the rules of acceptable by any means, but this is getting ridiculous. Since I am a resourceful young lass I implored CL and found a citronella collar. Now we all know citronella collars are bloody expensive. I'm talking $50 - $200 expensive. I am under the impression that a beating is free and looked for one less expensive than the norm. Lo and behold I found a free one! I am so glad people don't get rid of things, aren't you?? Craig is a god and his minion are good to me (and respectively Charlie as well). On the collar went today. Now, normally we have about 50,000 barks per minute. Guess how many we had this walk? That's right, three. Three barks, lots of snorting and then drooling to boot. I call that power. Also, when it sprays, I say QUIET. I'm hoping I can make QUIET equal to a spray in the face. I'll tell you how it goes.

The birds are in their new home. I am waking up and missing their little calls tremendously. It's a bummer but a good thing. They are somewhere that they will be well cared for. It's also a place I can call whenever I would like to ask how they are doing. That's a fair trade. The two new babies came out of their nest during transport and I of course put them back in but they look to be spice finches. It figures. All I wanted was more spice finches and here they are when I am bailing on them. Eh, serves me right.

You were so good to me, but you're old so I have to trade you for something better...

I don't know why I feel the need get all the pictures from my phone and place them here. But I do, and I have more. I am still knitting and being very stingy with the finished products but now I want a picture of the finished products all together looking functional and crafty. So you'll have to wait until I find the yarn I just ran out of. This could take a while since I can't seem to find said yarn ANYWHERE. yuck. Anyway, those pictures will be here at some point, don't you worry your pretty little head.

I walk dogs in good old Cambridge MA. Granted the people are mostly elitist pigs that suck out loud and can ruin just about anyone's day, but the houses are awesome! This is my favorite one.


While I walk about in Cambridge, I see trash barrels on trash day. Sometimes they have YARD WASTE ONLY stickers on them. This one however was far more threatning! I didn't look inside for fear of what might happen.


Did I tell you I shaved a collie? I did and it was rancid. I don't usually shave this breed unless it is so extremely matted (tangled) that getting the mats out would be inhumane. This time it wasn't even an option that's how bad it was. It was kind of like sheering a sheep. Gross but for some reason I totally get into this kind of thing. I don't have the finished product since I am totally forgetful and think of things way late in the game but I did in fact get the beginning. The fur came off in three large pieces.



Then there is Coco. When she is pissed off about something she whines and complains and generally makes a racket. This time she was in full howl mode. I thought it was super cute and snapped a picture.


And last but not least, the pictures of my beloved Jeep that I traded in for a newer vehicle. I am going to miss the Jeep as it was so fun and so me. But it was small and old. Not very reliable when you need something reliable. Also, they ride horribly. Kind of like having your waist held and the rest of you shaken about violently whenever you hit a bump. Some of the reason I like them but some of the reason I wouldn't want to go cross country in it. Here it is then... I sooth myself with the knowledge that I will someday have another Jeep. So much fun. Seriously.




And here is the truck I opted for. Less bump, more room. I like it. Getting used to automatic is taking some time, as is getting used to the size of it after the tiny Jeep. I parked it today first time though so I am hopeful.


That's about it. The birds will be going to their new home soon. I am bummed and will miss their little melodies but they need stability and I have none to offer. I'm excited for them. The nests are going to be removed and the entire cage revamped for their new home so no one has to worry about baby birds everywhere. Good stuff. Over & Out.

I want to see the light. I really do.

Since I have 50 billion CDs to import I am back at it after working today. Today was wonderful since Sancho came in for a haircut. Sancho and I have come a long way. The first time he came in he was not very trusting. Not very trusting in the I'll eat your face never say die way. He made it clear that someone had been bruatlizing him and he wasn't putting up with us groomers any more. He's about 45 pounds and all muscle and teeth. It was very scary and I honestly wasn't sure if we would be able to complete his grooming. Oh screw that, I wasn't even sure if I would be able to get him as far as the bath. He needed a muzzle at first, something I am very resistant to use. After all, if you took away my main defenses in a scary situation, I would also go nutshit. Especially if they had been taken from me in a similar fashion/environment. It took time, patience and my especially skillful ways. Something I excel at is helping dogs regain their trust. Anyway, by the end of the first grooming, the muzzle had been removed and though the fearful Sancho was tight and ready for anything, we got him looking pretty good. Today was his third time to me. He still shows his teeth when he anticipates trouble but provided I act aghast when he goes for me, he stays unable to bite and even looks sheepish that he even considered it. What troubles me the most about this entire ordeal is the fact that there are people in the animal industry that can create behavior such as Sanchos and be okay with it. Our egos are astounding and they becoming crippling when involving other creatures we need cooperation from. It's funny how most people think the dog is fighting them... I bet the dog is thinking the same exact thing about them. It's a shame the higher thinking being suddenly becomes beast worthy when something "lower" won't do what they say. Bullies, all of them. Regardless, I am psyched with how great my buddy is coming along. This is something I think of often when my mind turns to my trip. As of right now I have five dogs no one else can groom. My heart is heavy with them as they have been mishandled by others to the point they are at. I can only hope I have brought them around enough so others may work with them again. I also hope they don't come across any other people willing to force them into submission by using brute force.

I like to think hell is of a very personal nature. I hope I am right. For all those people tooling on dogs, their own personal hell would be receiving the beatings they have so easily and ruthlessly doled out all in the name of getting something (a haircut let's say) the way *they* want it. There is nothing pretty about that. I guess my hell will consist of spending years and years in a bowl. My fish are suddenly bothering me and there isn't a thing I can do about it since I don't want my hell to consist of being stomped on or flushed down the toilet. Hmm...

Oooo! Speaking of hair cuts... I am going to have mine done one last time before I go. I am going to have it cut shorter. I think I have once again found a picture of a style I like. You can see it here. Now ignoring the fact that it is Tori looking a wreck and taking the super short bangs part away (hate that!), I think I like the look. Since my hair is just past my shoulders I might ask my hair dresser if I can have some little pointies that go longer than the other hair on my neck. So stylish! So beautiful!

Tomorrow I go and look at my new truck. It's a 2004 Dodge Durango. It's such an incredible deal that I am going to test drive it and possibly trade in the Jeep for it to come home with me. It will be large enough to fit me, the boys and all my things very comfortably. I ordered a Rand and MacNally road atlas today. All that is left is moving L, getting the things I am not taking with me to my moms (why are moms free storage? I feel to old for this...), throwing out most of the other things, packing up the stuff that is coming and then it's go time. I knew go time would happen. I have been saying that for some time now and it's finally true. I am worried since this is new for me, but I am beside myself with anticipation. I have added Graceland to the list. I'm not so much King savvy as much as I totally believe the hype on this one. I am going to start recording everything in a little empty journal book I have had oh forever. Now I know why I have never been able to throw it out. Eh, I can't believe I just typed that. It's the thing everyone I can't relate to would say. Scratch that I guess. I just have a hard time throwing out perfectly good empty journal type books... yeah, that's it.

You've been warned

Since the two little baby birds came out of the nest I know who the parents are. They are from the Bob's (same as before). However! There are one or two more babies. It's anyones guess as to who these are from as the Bobs and Malcolm are sitting on them. I'm guessing they are from the other Bobs. Lets see if I am right... They should look interesting if that is the case. They should also be sterile which would be a fucking relief. We need *something* sterile in that cage. I guess I would fuck my brains out as well were I locked with the opposite sex and had little to do... Just a thought.

Since it's Friday night, I work on Saturday, I haven't anyone I wish to spend the night with (BY CHOICE) and I have an ass load of CD's that need to go on the puter... well, here I am blogging while importing all my favorite missing music. This week was long, so listening to good music while relaxing and emptying my mind is the perfect ending. This could be considered therapy for me... Speaking of emptying my mind... I always use this blog to inform you of things that are slightly interesting but rather shallow when it comes right down to it. That's because sharing is the weakest point I have. In all areas. In a general kind of sense even. Here goes nothing...

Most people feel sick when their bodies break down a bit due to illness/virus/whatever, and that is how my emotions and mind are feeling. I feel sick and broken in my mind. Since I don't want to explain this fully to anyone face to face I am going to create a literary purge on this blog so I might be able to release some of the madness. I thought I was drained until I realized that's not it at all. I don't even like saying that. Everyone says that. Drained. Oh, I'm so drained. Whatever. I feel totally full. So much so that I feel like I am over flowing. Overwhelmed? Probably. Like a glass of mental and emotional that is overflowing and going fucking everywhere. Like that. My brain is on overdrive. Stuck in first gear trying to go 90 mph. And all I can wonder is who the fuck is going to check the oil in this overactive machine? Has anyone ever checked it to begin with? Is this even a machine, or is the correct word catastrophy? Now, I know, some might lable this "crazy" but I am not going to go with that just yet. And usually that is just a way to ignore that someone is overly needy for a reason and move on without getting involved because you don't know how to handle or assist to begin with. So fuck off. I have also been reminded that the looming terminal illness (not mine) that remains out of my control to remedy and very hard to even start dealing with in a rational or even logical level is probably some of the issue. That seems plausible. Thanks. :) I just want all of you to know that I know I am tough to be around right now. I know. Seriously. You know how I know? Because I don't even want to be around me lately. At least you can hang up, go home or log off. And I don't blame you for any one of them. I really don't. I would too. Sleep is my best friend at this time. When I can catch it. It's a slippery little fucker at times like these.

Now, let's not forget that I am super fucking high strung to begin with here. I would love to slow it down to about 100. I really would. And this isn't helping in the slightest. I am also pretty neurotic. To the point where I get worried about worrying. Really. So add anything majorly stressful and you have a basket case mess of a human hoping to keep it together enough not to have to sign in to a fucking mental hospital. Besides, who would take care of the boys? I have found shrink after shrink and if you can even try to handle it, they all say I am just fine. Then they try to put me on meds to help me calm down. This is where I get confused. If I have a nail in my foot, do I take a Tylenol? No, I don't. I remove the fucking nail. Therefore their bullshit remedy with putting me into a coma just because they can't help me get to the root of the problem doesn't strike my fancy. Also, if I am so fucking fine, why the meds? Don't even get me started on the entire pharmaceutical conspiracy theory and what it means to us as thinking human beings. When it all goes down, don't tell me I didn't warn you.

I am aware that I start getting confused and distracted and because of that I come across a wee bit insane and extremely antisocial. More antisocial than usual even. When this happens I usually repel people. Sometimes they are people I adore. I am under the impression I do this to get them away from me before my crazy is taken out on them but also because, well, it's embarrassing. See, I don't mind people seeing the normal every day hyped up quirky eccentric me. But when the oh so abnormal paranoid confused hyped up gloom and doom hits (and I can't always keep myself from crying on a minute by minute basis) I would rather quiet the din within by myself and keep those I love out of the entire ship wreck. Hurting people with the push isn't the plan. There usually is no plan except trying to find solitude and hopefully slow my racing head down a bit. Mainly so it doesn't go so fast that it goes out of control and crashes. In so many words, I don't mean to butcher relationships. Maybe this is an apology of sorts?

Is there a solution to all of this? Surely. The super good news is I am rather smart. So I am not overly concerned with figuring this mental math equation out. I also have excellent skills. Lots of them. I would love to list them all but isn't this long enough as is? I am positive that I am very able to completely figure out how I tick to the point where I can rely on my head. It's going to take a little time but doesn't anything like this? Then there's the trip. 50% of my trip is to help me have some alone time so I can not only get to know myself better but also try to get my head together once and for all. The other 50% is to explore and hopefully find people I can relate to and a place I like enough to stay. That, at least, semi resembles a plan if you squint.

Man, I need to do this more often...

April showers bring May flowers...

It finally stopped raining!! YAY!! Walking dogs in the rain sucks. Running them in the mud sucks even more. Charlie loves every second of everything but this isn't his blog so we're sticking with how much it sucks. However, there are now flowers everywhere looking beautiful in their silky petal dresses bursting with colors that never go out of season. Speaking of which, due to the rain I broke out the raincoats. I have a purple (I thought it looked springy) two piece rain set and I am so completely satisfied with how brilliant that buy was. With that and my waterproof stand in a puddle all day but have dry feet boots I am just about untouchable. It's my mood that seems to be effected the most you know. The boys also have rain gear and I got pictures of them one day while walking about in high winds and pouring rain. It lifted my spirits so it was worth it. Hopefully it does the same for you. Obviously, Charlie isn't worried about Charlie being wet, I am. Jimmy however, relishes his rain coat as he does not like the wet one bit...



Due to the buckets of water coming from the sky, our morning run field now has a small body of water in the middle of it. I say small as compared to an actual lake/pond that one would swim in. It's astounding how everyone but Charles is able to go around this massive puddle. He likes to cut staight through it... That's Jim at the edge so you have an idea of it's size. This is still the driest place I can find to run the dogs. Wowser.


HOLY KNIT!! I forgot to tell you! I was cleaning my room, which is a feat all unto itself. I must clean my room... oh... about every three or four months. It looks like I never left adolescence. I might not have. There are usually clothes and such everywhere. Anyway, beneath this huge pile of clothes was a Christmas present from my aunt and uncle. I had forgotten all about it!! They gave me looms with which to knit. Since everyone keeps going on and on about this need to knit, I thought I would give it a whirl. TO MUCH FUN! Sure sure, I'm sort of cheating with the looms but I fucking HATE counting stitches and all that SHIT that you usually have to do. So this is awesome for me. I finally see why everyone says it's so relaxing. The first hat I made ended up being super tiny. Here it is on the loom when it was just started...

Here's the loom, the yarn and my little tool that helps me pull the yarn over the spokes. Ha ha, spokes. I love that word.

And the finished project on ONLY THE SUPER FAMOUS SOON TO BE ON THE NET MODELING THINGS JIMBO!!! Side note: His photoshoot has been moved to May 11 at 3 p.m..

This is clearly the face that shows how not impressed he is over being roused by a crazy woman, a little tiny hat on his head and a flash in his face. Two words: Poor sport.


Once I had the idea down I moved onto bigger and better. The bigger was needed anyway and the better was a wing it plan that totally worked out. Which ruled. Not only was the next hat larger but it also has a big old stripe in it. NICE! The rim is also larger as to keep the wearers ears nice and toasty...


The next step was to feel like I could probably knit steel wool into a stove if I wanted to. Commence going out and getting a shitload of yarn. So pretty, so functional. And the project then took over my life. Since my aunt and uncle are from VT, I am making them both matching hats and scarves. Well, matching meaning the hats and scarves match, not that they'll be wearing the exact same thing. That's not very fair to my uncle as I wanted to knit something with sparkles in it. Here is the finished hat.

See the sparkles? So cool. The looms make knitting with that hard to use but super neat design yarn so much easier to work with... I just put it right next to the orange yarn and wah lah! Sparklies.


The matching scarf is still in progress but coming along nicely. The scarves take waaaay longer to make but I am tenacious.


I believe my uncles will either be blues or greens. I haven't decided yet. All I know is it will kick some serious knitting ass once complete. And they'll get to their destination right in time for summer! YES!!

Okay... the birds are being difficult. Everyone is sitting vigil. Any time I go to take pictures one of the Bob's is in the way and sitting on the little ones. I guess I'll have to scare them out and then get the babies to think it's feeding time. Then they'll stick their little scrawny ugly necks up and I'll be able to snap a picture of their little tiny gross baby bird faces. Lets face it, baby birds are not a pretty thing in the beginning. Everyone is caring for them. I don't know who's they are or what they are going to look like. Since Bob is having sex with everyone, it could be anyone's guess. I am guessing it is probably him and Bob again though. I'll keep trying to get pictures and post them once this is accomplished.

Oooo... one more thing... I started grappling. I like it because I feel after one class that I could be incredible at it. The biggest thing is that I lose focus while wrestling as I am focusing all my energy toward *not* biting my opponent. It's so hard for me to keep my teeth from ripping into flesh when it is stuck against my face and I am trying to get it off. Again, I think this gives me the edge. I am all teeth, nails and fury. I do not enjoy the close physical contact one bit. I am going to try only having M as a partner and see how I do. I'll just sit out the times we have to switch partners. I'm sooo not into the whole strange sweaty body on mine unless it was all my idea and we have less clothes on. I also enjoy that better when it doesn't involve the gym and numerous other people. Hmmm... yeah, I guess I'll have to sit out the times I have to be with someone else. Otherwise I can always go kick and punch while they swap about the people with sweaty bodies... Oooo... good one! High five!

OH BABY!! er... babies

Just when I am getting ready to snatch all the nest covers because everything seems calm and baby free... obviously, more babies! AND MY CAMERA IS ACTING FUNNY!!! NOOOOOO!! Anyway, I have no idea who the parents are as everyone is sitting on them and puking in their mouths. They are SO tiny and SO freaking baby animal cute. This is it! This is the last fucking batch these whores are going to spit out of their little birdy vaginas! When this clutch is big enough to evacuate, I will commence the removal of nest tops. But don't worry, as soon as my camera isn't acting funny I'll blog the shit out of this babylicious mess!

Everyone is doing it!!

We are not alone...

Pictures because I am bored and don't want to blog a lot.

I am also in need of some sharing practice. This entire blog is sharing pratice and that's a solid thing considering I have a very hard time sharing anything.

First we have two of my most favorite dogs that I walk each day. They are my morning run in the park dogs. I love them. Yes, they're Shelties. Yes, I love Shelties. F U. Kirby is the younger of the two and oh so fresh. Simon is an old timer but he still runs with the biggest and barks way to much for his own good. I think he's rad though. I'm also convinced he's deaf. Not in a he doesn't listen way, more in the he can't hear anymore due to age kind of thing.

Kirb-dirb


Simon


Simon is the only other dog that really gets the ball other than Charlie and that says something to me since he's more than half the other dogs in years. Seriously, he's that in shape older guy.


And since I am easily bored and need to do about seventeen things at once while thinking about the seventeen to come later on after these are semi done, I started just fooling around and got two very neat pictures. This first one is the beautiful sun that went away. But check out the black spot in the center of it. It's obviously a spaceship looking for cows. PROOF!


Then there's the shot that was mistakenly taken before the camera was fully focused. It only caught the shadows but in a very cool way. It's Simon in the picture.


That's all I have for now. I have been enjoying early nights and I am going to stick with it. Although... There is a pet store going out of business and I am thinking about getting another society finch so Malcolm will have another of his kind in the dwelling. The spice finches have each other and the zebra finches have each other and Malcolm has... well, Malcolm. Since the society finches are like half off I might grab one and quarantine the shit out of it just to be sure. We'll see. I also might not. I'm fickle like that.

Last but not least Jimmy went into a vinyl graphics place which presented a red flag. Clearly he thought this was waaay less funny than we did...

Is it the entire dead squirrel? I want heads mostly... I get off on jaw bones and teeth

A little to the left... good... bigger pout... YES! HOLD IT JUST LIKE THAT! Yes! Oh, you're gorgeous darling! Simply fantastic!!!

Jimmy's first photoshoot is on the 20th at 3 p.m.!!! Niceness! I can finally start his portfolio just like I always knew I would!!! TEAM JIMMY!! He'll be modeling a coat for a website. The deal is, we either get to keep the photo or the coat. I want that photo so that's my first choice. However... a jacket made specifically for Jim? Come on. I am going to find out if I can keep the picture and purchase the jacket. I don't know what she's planning on doing with a jacket made exactly for Jim anyway. Maybe I am falling right into her little trap and I don't even know it. But that would mean I know it. Is that still considered a trap? Oh... my brain...

Today was an excellent day! During the morning park run I found Trying to Save Piggy Sneed by John Irving. Now John Irving is one of my favorite writers ever. JH + JI 4EVA!! Hotel New Hampshire. Need I say more? Anyway, there it was... front cover flapping in the (fucking freezing) breeze. Abandoned, lonely, confused... I couldn't let it go on and brought it home with me to be warm and of use. I haven't read it yet! Oh, the excitement mounts!! Near it was a brown and white neck warmer. Now I am not usually the type that sees clothing just lying about at the park and take it home. No really. However... I have a neckwarmer that Jim wears in the cold weather and it's dark blue. Dark blue simply is not Jim's color. Not even when you squint. And he loves his neck warmer... why not tip the fashion scale a little more in his favor? It's the least I could do.

I have a fun new plan for when I am out west. I am going to leave here pulling a small trailer behind the Jeep. In that trailer will be the belongings that don't quite fit in the Jeep along with two large dogs, two fish and me. So that'll basically be everything I own. If I decide I like moving about enough to keep it up, I will ditch the small trailer and buy the "home of my dreams" that I can drag behind me. :) I am also keeping all those gypsy people that move about in their RV's in mind. Most of them have dogs, do they not? And dogs need to be groomed, do they not? I think we all see where this is going... I just can't help but believe there are people all over looking for help with their dog in one way or another. Am I going to finally make my fortune? Only time will tell. It's clear my collection of dead things (no matter how dear they may be to me) aren't going to bring in the big bucks.

We've got the best balls!

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

The balls are here. The package was opened feverishly and the balls were admired. They were tested at the local park today and I must say, I am impressed! Not only are they hard core hollow rubber but they're heavy *and* taste like mint. Okay, they taste like rubber mint. Whatever, they're a smash hit with the boys. Jimmy even played a game of ball today and that is a rarity these days. He should have a bumper sticker that reads "I'd Rather be Hunting". As soon as we get to the park he's off into the brush on the side to hunt the ratses and the mices and sometimes to even be sprayed by a skunk. It's adventure at it's best. I guess the minty tasting balls won over his savage urge to kill and destroy. Who knew? Next time I have PMS I am going to chase those things all over the place and see how it goes. :) They bounce like you wouldn't believe. They float. AND they're heavy enough that they FLY when you throw them. Why didn't I think of this sooner??

Did everyone have a satisfying Easter? Mine was interesting. I showed up late late late for lunch and the family was thrown a little. I left the boys in the truck with their meaty bones and prayed for no dog fight as both wanted the backseat. I think there is more chewing pleasure derived from the back seat. I have eaten my lunch back there, and I must say, it is a little roomier and forgiving. It all worked out wonderfully and the Jeep has that delightful smell of raw meat in it now. After lunch, desert and coffee were consumed, my brother and I went out to "walk the dogs in the woods". While at said woods my brother noticed am interesting tree and went off to investigate. It was pretty wild. One of the limbs had grown super huge but instead of snapping off, it simply accepted gravity and it's lot in life and turned towards the earth to continue growing way to large for that tree. There was not one part of the limb that was broken and the bark looked very cool the way it rotated around the limb. Trusty phone toting warrior that I am, I got out the camera phone.

Here's the limb just hanging out, by itself:


Here's an idea of how large the limb is. My brother is standing directly under it and he's about 6' 3" (maybe bigger).


Then there's always the need to climb on it and see if it can support you and put up with your shit all the while taking pictures. This leads me to the conclusion that trees have a lot in common with men. it's also kind of creepy that the further you go in these woods you slowly lose your face...



That's about it. I have love for Baka Beyond and I am not ashamed to admit it. I'm also kind of digging Damien Rice but that's a little harder to admit. I wish Feist would just get on with it all ready and release all their new songs to iTunes for crying out loud. One of my projects is going to be to take all of my CD's and download them onto my laptop. This is going to take a while but I am ready and willing. It might happen on a Sunday. Ahhh... lazy Sundays, you do me so good.

Out like a what??

The dwelling is clean, the fish have water, I am about to water the plants and all of this with darker, shorter hair! Okay, supposedly this is "medium hair" but to someone like me, it's short. I like it. I expected it to be more one length with the whole layer thing going on but I like what happened so that's cool. The part I like the most is that I can flip the bottom and it's in a little "U" going away from my neck. For Easter I am going to try and turn my whole head into an opposite U do. It should be interesting at the very least. Ahh Easter... Since I am family girl I will be dressing up for the holiday. I got out of going to church which NEVER happens so dressing pretty is something I feel like I should do. Oh back it up... I got out of church because of Charlie. I love this dog more every day, seriously. Since he's a tad high strung and my grandparents will be joining us for lunch (I refuse to call a meal at 2 p.m. dinner thank you very much) I am expected to run the shit out of him so he can be a good dog while joining the festivities. This could be total bullshit as I know my grandparents don't like dogs, so the boys might have to wait in the truck while they are there. It's cool, they're gypsy dogs and I have gotten some majorly tasty bones for them to enjoy while waiting for the anti dog people to split. I might even run them again while waiting for the haters to leave anyway... While on the subject of Easter, is no one else creeped out by the whole pedophile who dresses up like a huge white rabbit and hides treats for the kids to find on the day originally for a guy that rose from the dead deal? Don't even get me started on the fat man that runs a midgit sweatshop just to do a whole nights worth of B&E's get near small children who think he's okay due their parents lying to them.


My two super aggressive Bob's found a home! YAY CL! Some Indian guy (as in dot, not woo woo) came by and picked them up. He has two females he's going to add them to. This couldn't be any better since my little guy comes across like he'd have not one issue rocking his own harem. Lucky little bastard. Hopefully his girl can deal. The baby is looking more and more unlike a baby. The spice finches have decided Malcolm should have every single egg in the place. When Bob lays infertile eggs on the bottom of the cage, the spice finches pick them up and bring them to her. Then I take them all out and put them on the bottom of the cage.

The rotten news of the week was my truck doing the breakdown thing. Mid busy/main intersection. Power, no power. I don't know what it is about Boston but the people here seemed to think screaming the C word would help the situation. The so helpful uplifter of the law gave me mad attitude until I gave more and yelled, "I'm not doing this on purpose Mr. Police Officer Sir!" and then things cooled right down and he pushed me out of said intersection. I had Happy Dog come and get the rest of the crew (once he answered the phone that is) that needed dropping off and rang good old much value AAA. The woman said they probably couldn't take the dogs. Being at the end of my rope I asked if didn't I have the edge here considering I am the dog lover with money for the tow. Apparently she deals with this type of shit a lot because with grace and kindness she said she'd ask what could be done. Ended up there was a dog lover tow truck driver!! He shows up and gets the truck running. YAY! I drove off towards my mechanic and broke down mid main/busy intersection for the second time that day. Luckily the coasting gods were with me this time and I just got through it, coming to a stop next to the sidewalk right at the end of the curb and totally in the way of traffic. Again. But this time in a I'm an asshole stopped right in front of a "no parking sign" kind of way. Did I mention it was rush hour? Lots of C's tossed about and this time some horns were thrown in as an added bonus. I called AAA back and played BrickBreaker until the same guy arrived. Boy was I glad to see him... again. We all jumped into the tow truck and headed to the mechanics. This is how I figured out what type of dog Charlie is. I have never given him the stable label. He's basically the person that loses it and rocks back and forth banging his head on the wall to make it all go away. The truck ride was awesome with Jimmy sprawled across the seat, head in the drivers lap and Charlie freaking the fuck out while sitting on the floor between my knees. He appeared totally calm but when you looked closely (or said his name) it was clear he was anything but calm. What a basket case. He's so my type of dog. :) Oh and by the way, the wires in my truck are "all crazy" but fixed to the point that the truck runs. Not only that, but my radio works again as well. Music to my ears in entirety.

The new earrings that are the correct size are here. I can finally put in my orbits. It's the little things. Since I am an online wonder when regarding fun items I found a new ball for Charlie and these might be the ones that last! They are the Orbee brand and industrial strength. I'm talking a five out of five on the chew-o-meter here. That IS industrial. I got us a three pack and they're on their way. I'm very excited and I hope these balls can hold up to some serious fun and games. Ha ha, as is life.


Since I am better about taking pictures with my phone than my camera but forget all about the pictures, here's the latest emptying of the phone... First, pictures of spring. Even though there's nothing lamb about it, the buds and flowers are coming on strong. I wish I could say the same about myself. :)




Then there's the power lines that I frequent. It can't be good for me but it's one of the only places I know of that I can run the dogs off leash and not bump into anyone. Being an antisocial butterfly, that equals heaven. Also, there's this massive hill I like to throw the ball for Charlie off of. I keep trying to find hills to run him on, that way he tires out faster. :) This one is so worth every second... I'm in the same place and this is him at the bottom:

And then closer to the top. Like I said, worth it.



I am a fantastic groomer and took pictures of a finished dog, so I'll share them with you. I did not, however, take a picture of the dog to begin with, so I found a picture online of how she looked before the grooming.

She's a little lighter in color, but you get the drift. Long hair, one length, no style. Here she is after (and Jim is peeking):



Were it not for dogs, my heart would be a shrivelled thing in my chest that most resembled a prune.



There is not much more to speak of other than boring every day things... oh wait, I all ready told you about those. Ha ha.