Solutions

After posting the google "where are people sick" tracker to mock people who are sick, I became sick. Serves me right. I looked up how many other people have my symptoms in my area. Sadly, I am alone. Well, according to google anyway. According to Charlie I am simply boring him to tears. According to Jimmy I am the best stay in bed mom alive and we have caught up on some seriously needed cuddle time. Google that.

Oooo... also, the ants have not come back. Okay, there were two this afternoon so I was sure to use my third eye and explain the entire situation over again this time making sure to clearly picture an ant free tub. I was doubly sure to picture a wet tub and sad little ants going down the drain. But two beats the hell out of a tub load and I can't help but think this is awesome. The ants are undoubtedly there after all, and I can't help but think this is a good way of keeping them where they belong. Why don't I use this method with my dogs? I might give it a shot. I do try it occasionally with the dogs I groom. It's usually a big fat let down. I also try it as a last ditch effort on a dogs that are fucking impossible. It goes along with deep cleansing breaths and the likes. Speaking of dogs and deep cleansing breaths I really need to work with my guys when regarding the whole pulling issue. Up until now it's been cold and I don't walk my dogs on leashes in the cold. No sir, we either piss in the yard or hike the woods (leash not included). Now that the warm weather is here I am not feeling well. Eww. However, I got the book called My Dog Pulls. What Do I Do? by Turid Rugaas. I like the method used and I am going to be using it for the boys when my health is at it's best. Training when I am under the weather usually ends up with two very unhappy dogs and me screaming things like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? while out in public. Ugly. So, when I feel like this, I save us all and just keep to the open fields that hold no restrictions. However, I am truly looking forward to starting this method once well. I am going to start the initial training in the house that way there is no distractions what so ever and little room for fucking up. I'm so smart.

Tomorrow I believe I will be giving Charlie a summer cut. I'm pumped. It's going to be the same style he's had but shorter. More military if you will. There is the girl part of me that *really* wants to give him an oh so cool 50's pattern and then there's the not so girly part of me that gets all upset when the girly part of me starts thinking this way. The not so girly side wants to keep Charlie looking as manly as we can keep him. I mean geez, he's a french poodle. The way she sees it is the last thing Charlie needs is something else that makes him look like a fag. The girly part tries to remind the not so girly part that we chopped off his balls and manly discussions sort of went out the window at that point. The not so girly part reminds back that his dick is still intact and this is more about *our* dignity as it isn't even Charlie choosing the haircut. Girly side always likes to wonder why not so girly side is so worried about what others will think of our *french poodle's* hair style. She thinks not so girly is to worried about outer appearance. Not so girly always takes offense to that as she's the one that has always had a better handle on not giving a shit about others opinions while girly freaks out sometimes and makes us change over and over until it's just right by her standards. Around and around it goes. Sometimes girly side storms off in tears. Other times she's just convinced that boys should be boys and decides to wait for the day that a girl dog enters into our life. Then she's going to have the time of her life and the word "ribbon" finally won't be considered a swear word. Either way, not so girly side is winning this battle as Charlie has maintained his boyish look even while being a poodle.

I think the real question is if the before and after pictures will be remembered. Oh, also, I am reading For the Love of a Dog by Patricia McConnell and it's excellent. Most of her books are. I am not just saying this because I am her biggest and best fan ever. She really is an awesome author on dogs. So, if you like dogs, own dogs, whatever, pick one, you should read it.