The training is going well. I was pretty down on myself about the whole thing for a minute there but last nights class brought me right back around. I don't think the teachers believe I am really trying as I am not dead serious about the whole thing. Just because I am mocking and laughing doesn't mean I am not trying my heart out. I keep telling them that. I'm a wild spirit that tells the teachers everything I think of that might help them get to know me a little better. Last night this and the fact that I didn't "play nice" got me a super hard work out. Super hard for me anyway... I ended up having to do 150 squats, 100 sit ups and 50 push ups. That was tough man!! I haven't worked out for years! F! I also learned about clinching. This is where you make your hands overlap so they look like a butterfly and hold the back of your opponents head with them like that while trying to maintain the inside hold. This is the best picture I could find to show you what I mean...
I was pretty decent at it! Not only did I throw the instructor (YES!!!) but I also knocked M off his balance as well. It was awesome. I am not allowed to bite and just stopped myself a bunch of times before ripping flesh off of people.
When I asked if biting was okay they told me only on the street, not in class! Fair enough but hard for me. I am also not allowed to head butt. No head butting in class ever no matter what. I guess I am a total savage and I like to think this gives me the edge. Also, my instructor told me that my mouth has won 50% of the fight to begin with. YAY! I'm 50% winning and have only gone six times!!! NICENESS!! He said that were he to attack me as a perp, just having me pull him towards me while yelling about raping his wife and eating his babies, would make him pause and wonder what the hell he had gotten himself into. That's pretty exciting if you ask me. They also promised to show me how to seriously hurt anyone that attempts to hurt me first. This means not only will I be able to get my attacker off I will also be fully capable and ready to inflict life changing injuries upon them just like they deserve. These guys are my heros... Oh yeah! Also, I totally wrapped my hands perfectly for the first time last night. I did it a little to tight, but no big sweat, you know? I am a hand wrapping prodigy!!! Clearly, these are not my hands. Maybe I'll bring my camera tonight and get pictures of them all wrapped up after I do it effortlessly. Yeah right. It took me so long that I worked out on the bike to stay warm! HA!
Total score the other day! While walking to get two dogs that I run at the park I came across a cold, lonely, rubber, tennis ball look alike PLANET DOG BALL!!! EXCELLENT!!! Not only are these balls SUPER durable but they bounce and float!!! YAY! Charlie loves it! He's so great at playing ball now. I run him every day with one until the crazy is out of his eyes. We both love durable balls that bounce and last a good long time. I mean... woah, I just totally re-read that last sentence and that came out all wrong eh? Focus...
back on track... we can totally destroy a tennis ball in one throwing session. That's how hard we play. Every time I go to take a shower the tub is full of ants. Those big huge black carpenter ones.
I cannot kill them using the squish method as I have heard that when you squish an ant to get rid of it, they let out a pheromone that alerts all their friends to the fact that bad shit is going down and they should come and see if they can help. So when you squish an ant to rid yourself of ants, you actually have the opposite affect take place. Interesting. I just turn on the water and rinse them down the drain. Now please don't get me wrong, I am not anti ant. I am not even anti bug. I like bugs. I just don't like them in the shower with me or falling on my head. That really freaks me out every time. Since reading about T-Touch I have been trying to use a different approach when regarding things like this. So, the other night I sat down and tried to communicate to the ants on a higher level. I am so not fucking kidding on this one. Stay with me. I spoke to them with my mind asking them to please not bother us and we won't bother them. Then I tried visualizing humans and ants living harmoniously with my third eye. I pictured them living happily inside the walls and us living happily outside the walls.
I'm not sure if this shit really works but there have been no incidents. Now I am not sure if there are no incidents due to my incredible communicating and visualizing skills or if it's simply because said beings moved on and I just never knew it. Oh yeah, no shit, while I was typing about this a little ant came strolling out from under the couch and marched across the living room floor. WTF is that?? Now under ordinary circumstances I would have seen this as a sign of war, picked him up, gone outside and squashed his dirty little thorax. I thought carefully, picked him up and tossed him out the window... weeeeeee... make your little smelly trail down there!! Don't forget to tell your friends how nice I was to you when you finally find them again... Maybe they were trying to judge my sincerity? I am after all a barbaric bully human. Think about it, we eat chocolate covered ants!! They have every right not to believe a word I say... I wish the birds would eat insects and I might throw the next one in with them to see what they do. That's nature right? And if they do eat it and it does call for back up my birds can have a tasty exoskeleton feast that comes to them! Sweet!
Speaking of the birds, the wee one is doing swell. The spices finches are excellent teachers and so far the little one is preening, shelling seeds and eating them and landing on perches first try. He only misses once in a great while. I'm loving watching this tiny one grow up. Which gets me thinking... I am about two seconds to getting one of those small campers that attaches to your vehicle.
Really. I mean, the ten foot ones sleep four freaking people comfortably! I am only one person here. These things are solar powered for crying out loud! Does it get any better than this?? I can't help but think that I could make another hand crafted bird cage that was built into the wall and out of the way thus making it possible to bring the birds with me!! YAY!! Also, how cool would it be to drag your house around until you find something you like as a permanent home? I'm going to keep looking and if the right one comes along I am going to grab it up.
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