Every time I move I am astounded by how much shit I have accumulated! This time is no different but this time there is a slight twist. This time I have to figure out what I want right now and either keep it or throw it out. I was under the assumption this would be cake. Apparently, there is no cake involved. Normally I am a huge fan of cake so this is disappointing. I have so much SHIT. I have devised a system that is helping me root through said shit and make it as easy as possible to get rid of the things that just don't matter. It goes like this: Remove everything from cabinets and closets and pile it on the floor. In fact, now that I have no furniture, this is the easiest part. It resembles a crack house with piles of things on the floor. If it were winter I would so have the oven on to heat the place. Anyway, the piles get smaller and things that are soft and need new owners go into bags and these bags are placed along the wall near the front door. Anything hard is either thrown out (you should see my trash HEAP out front) or if it's salvageable, it is also put along the wall. The wall is getting smaller by the minute. It used to be so big it fit a couch. I am going to call the Salvation Army tomorrow and schedule a pick up for all these things along the wall. My bed is going to be one of those things soon so I am hoping they can pick up on the 31st. That would seriously work for me and my schedule. The only pile that has me stumped is my pile of books. The oh so sacred ones are all ready packed up and going where they need to go. The others are sitting and as much as it pains me to say so, I might send them along to the Salvy... I keep reminding myself that I can get new books. These books have spent a long time in my company however. We're like old friends, you know? Parting is such sweet sorrow. They have kept me company at night when I was lonely or simply couldn't sleep. They have made long trips with me. Hell, they used to get me through the daily commute for a while there. I have taken them for long walks in the woods and we have gone on train rides all throughout the city. I have even introduced them to my friends! They never mind waiting in the car. They never ask me where I have been or when I am going to be back. There is no pressure to spend time with them, but when I do, it's usually worth every second and I always want to go back for more. As much as I love them to little papery bits, they are very heavy. I despise the idea of lugging them about even though I know they would probably enjoy one more car ride. It's not like it's their fault they are so cumbersome, I know this! In the end however, they will just be sitting in an attic patiently waiting for me to come and get them so they can once again be stored on a bookshelf. I have read every last one. Geesh, I have read some of them over and over. What to do, what to do...
Charlie is FREAKING OUT about this whole process. He doesn't like the fact that I continue to remove things from the house and shows his displeasure by being completely underfoot provided I am carrying something heavy. Then when I snap at him he's certain to make a scene by tucking tail and running from me as fast as he can. He has also taken it upon himself to tediously strip the grape vine on the back porch into little tiny pieces using his front teeth. I normally frown upon this type of behavior, but he's doing such a marvelous job I can't punish him. I also think it might be taking his mind off the fact that everything in the house is disappearing. Jim is a rock. He's done this so many times the only thing freaking him out is the fact that we cut the soft couch into tiny pieces and threw it out the window. He loved sleeping on that couch. I loved sleeping on that couch. That couch was fucking awesome. It was also a slamming deal when I bought it. Good bye couch.
I'm also freaking out a little. I have never done this before. I guess in most cases throwing all your things out and cutting off all your hair is a bad sign. This time it is a good sign but I am still a little shaken over the whole thing. But I remind myself that change is awesome and that makes it something I should embrace (fitting into the awesome catagory myself it only seems right, doesn't it?). Also, purging is a good thing when it doesn't involve weight loss and doctors. So I am going to continue throwing shit out and smiling while I do it. Sure, there are going to be the moments where I get super nervous but I'm basically like that every single day, so why should this be any different? Par for the course if you ask me.
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you're definitely supposed to be nervous. if you weren't it would mean you had no idea what you were getting into, and as much fun as denial is, it's not the best way to start a new chapter. speaking of chapters, i would be happy to play godmother to your books while you're out of town. you could rest easy knowing they are not sitting rotting but are being read (and re-read) and you could have them all back when you return. either that or if shit goes south here, i'll bring them with when i head west to join you. charlie sounds perfectly neurotic, how delicious. i think nibbling the bark off a grapevine is a perfect outlet for his extra freak.
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