It's almost time...

And here it is! The picture we have all been waiting for! Side note: I don't know why she chose this shot as it makes his neck look super long. I just don't think it's very becoming. Hmm. However, this same picture will grace her catalog and I will be receiving a copy so you won't hear me complaining. He has another shoot coming up and we are just going to hope and pray that this woman has better taste as the last... well... didn't. Does any of this even matter?!?! Jimmy is the super model I have always known him to be!



Since I am soon going to end my present dog walking career I choose this time to unload about the ONLY part of the job that irks the shit out of me. This is it. It's the people I come across on my lovely canine filled walks that create little grey clouds. It's usually due to the things they have to say. Now don't get me wrong, I regularly see people that say the nicest of things. There is one elderly man that I see *everywhere* and I have even taken to waving when he drives by me and the pack. His questions are usually along the lines of, how's the crew today? Or who's the new one?? He's upbeat, observant and appears sincere. I also can't help but wonder how he has so many things to do throughout the day... I like him, he keeps it moving and never asks things about the weather or other such draining questions. I am so fucking sick of questions about the weather. We're both standing here, we both know what the weather is like. If for some reason you don't, please leave me alone as you are the type of person I don't enjoy talking to regularly due to the lack of abundance that should fill my brain when having conversation. Seriously!!! Anyway, here they are... the most annoying questions when walking dogs.

The number one question is and will always be: "Are those ALL yours?!" It is always asked in wonder with a sprinkling of horror on top. I used to answer, no, I'm a dog walker. Now I smile like a maniac and brightly reply with a huge enthusiastic "YES!" Because I so obviously own up to six dogs in the city. Enough.

Then there's the opposite which is: "Are you a dog walker?!" Again, I used to say yes. Now I reply with (again with the psychotic smile and over enthusiastic voice), "Nope! All six are mine!!" Unless of course it's clear these people are searching for something and then they are usually looking for a dog walker. Believe me, the difference in approaches are clear as day. One has a searching and get the job done look, the other is vacant and stunned.

Moving on to: "Wow, do they always get along like that?" Sometimes I can tell the people really are confused about it and those are the ones I have the most fun with. I usually tighten my hands around the leashes, give them a face that portrays a little fear and a slew of uncertainty while saying something like "So far, so good today." I find that whispering this to them like it's a secret that must not be released or all hell will break loose helps them hurry away. Other people are plainly saying it to either seem like they know what they are talking about (I don't get these people at all) or to get a rise out of others. They get the response of, "Well, if not, there is always a very capable vet not a stones throw from here isn't there?" Then I usually start looking around for the vet office.

My all time favorite because I hear it about seven billion times per day is: "You sure have your hands full huh?" This one is a tough one since I am full of very sarcastic biting replies and it's the question that makes me the most mental considering the frequency it is thrown at me. Believe me, there are the days I simply duck my head and bark a quick "Yup!" because the end of the rope is so near. Other times I tell them I am going to pick up fifteen more for the dog parade that is being held later so they should stick around for the fun. The come backs to this one are unlimited.

There is also the one that I don't hear as much as the others and it's either "Wow, how do you do that?" with shock and confusion and of course the only answer I like is, "Magic!!". Or there is another rendition where they stop and say, "My goodness! They're all so good! Are they always that good?" and I tell these people it is *I* who is behaving so well as they are the ones walking me, or any other nonsense reply I can think of.

If I am reminded of any others, I'll be sure to let you know. All I know is that people are evidently still here for my amusement. And it doesn't cost a thing. That's a deal I cannot refuse.

I cut off all my hair today!! Okay, fine, my hairdresser cut it all off, but it was ALL my idea. It's so short. As in no hair on my neck short. I have never had a cold neck because of not having enough hair before. I am enjoying shaking my head back and forth (like I am saying no with conviction) because it feels funny. Shaking your head wildly back and forth while walking is not recommended.

PS I totally scored a new red suitcase.